Testimony by Irene Guthrie (Wife, Mother, Grandmother–most important, a Believer in the LORD Jesus Christ) Oregon, USA
Updated 5/9/05
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Before I came to believe in Jesus Christ as LORD and Savior, through His finished work on the Cross of Calvary, I was definitely bogged down in the miry clay as the Psalmist says.
Psalms 40:2 – “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”
Speaking of bogs, I was the resident frog.
Most of us are familiar with the frog in the pot syndrome. Set a frog in a pot of boiling water and it will jump out. But, put the frog in the water and heat the water up slowly, the frog will stay, and as it acclimates to the temperature change, it will eventually boil to death. Only in my case, I call it a pot of stew!
Now as I ponder this frog creature as pertains to Holy writ, which I trust and honor and desire to obey, scripture indicates that the frog is in the category of an unclean animal. You see there are two categories: clean and unclean. No doubt, I was an unclean creature. And I was slowly stewing in the cauldron of an ungodly life.
My family’s behavior would’ve been considered dysfunctional by today’s worldview. But, now I know better; I call it for what it is: SIN.
Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
I was caught up in the sins of my forefathers, which had been passed down to me through family behaviors, and an ignorance of the scriptures, due to my childhood upbringing in a church denomination that did not teach the scriptures accurately. Neither did they want us to know what was in the Bible as evidenced by their lack of encouraging personal scripture reading, or bible study. Little did I know, I was in a religious cult. Consequently, as I grew in age and maturity, the iniquities were abounding in my life. And little by little the unhealthy foods, which I call the works of the flesh, were added to my stew.
The Pot Thickens
Now scripture reveals to all people, should they want to know, that the works of the flesh are manifest in certain ways. Let’s examine what the Holy Bible tells us:
Galatians 5:19-21 – “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Needless-to-say, from childhood to young adulthood, my frog stew was well on its way to thickening.
I discovered at age 19, while attending a local college, that I was pregnant. I wasn’t sure what to do. Having been raised by grandparents from 4th grade to 9th grade, I was accustomed to seeking elderly counsel. Somehow, I associated my problem with needing spiritual advice, so I visited the priest at the local Catholic Church. His advice was quite simple: Do not marry him, for his family is bad news. Go to a home for unwed mothers and give up your baby Okay, even though I was not a born-again believer, in my gut feeling I knew that was the wrong answer for me. I politely thanked him for his counsel and retreated to my car in the parking lot. I sat there for some time in the silence of my surroundings and with the beating of my broken heart. Moments later, I mentally acknowledged the God of the universe and cried to Him, I cannot do that! I cannot give up this child. Somehow, a peace came over me and I knew I had made a good decision.
Though the father of my unborn child refused to acknowledge his part in the responsibility, I decided to take responsibility for my motherhood. He consented to marry only after seeing the child, by which he would determine that he was the father. This doubting Thomas did not believe me; I can’t say that I blamed him, though I knew he was the father. On cue, nine months later, the day of proof arrived. To my shock and to the surprise of others, I was blessed with twins. And there was no doubt as the boys looked like their father. Twins would most certainly keep me out of trouble for a while, and no, my doctor had not told me I was carrying twins. Since I had not been pregnant before, I had nothing to compare a single child versus two in the womb. The marriage ensued two months later. My mother didn’t want me to marry either, but I didn’t want my sons without a name, nor be denied their father, since I had stepfathers and my real dad died when I was seven.
It didn’t take long in my young adulthood before I realized I had made a terrible mistake. No, I didn’t regret my sons birth, but I did regret not making the right decisions in life, especially not waiting for the right husband to come along.
Six years and six months later, after much emotional and physical abuse, the agonizing decision came to divorce my alcoholic husband. I feared for my safety and for the future of my children. Surely I didn’t want them to follow my footsteps, as I had followed my parents. The iniquities of the fathers would just continue and I had better hopes for my children than that. After all, my Mom had married alcoholics and divorced three times!
My divorce brought physical, emotional and spiritual pain. I lost weight, reaching a low of 89 lbs and was very weary! God hates divorce for that reason, as is stated in His Word:
Malachi 2:16 - “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.”
A depression settled upon my life and I sought the counsel of Social Services at the hospital where I worked as a Secretary. There I discovered that I was Aokay@, no matter what my husband said about me. Thus divorce was added to the pot of frog stew and yet it called for more.
A Dash of Bitter Herbs
All stews require herbs and spices for flavor. After all, who wants to eat bland food? But the stew recipe of the world has a much different flavor and odor than the stew recipe for a born-again believer. Once a person gets saved, the dietary habits change; the morsels (of the old stew recipe) taste very strange, smell offensive, and make one sick to the stomach!
After my divorce, I began to add bitter herbs to my frog stew. I had grown accustomed to eating that way all my life. When I think of bitter herbs, I cannot help but remember the story of the Israelites and the Passover.
Exodus 12:8 – “And they shall eat the flesh in that night, roast with fire, and unleavened bread; and with bitter herbs they shall eat it.”
The Passover Seder includes bitter herbs such as horseradish in the meal to represent the bitterness of slavery. Little did I know, I was about to be dangerously enslaved the next three years!
The bitter herbs I chose for my stew were people, places and things. Looking for love in the wrong places, I spent my free evenings at the local bar with my friends, dancing, smoking, drinking and living it up, so I thought, while my children spent the time with Grandma. I worked weekdays; therefore, my children were short-changed in their relationship with me. Much like our relationship with God, it gets short-changed when we turn to idols and ignore His calling. How the LORD yearns for fellowship with His created beings.
The Spice of Sorcery
With this new freedom from my bad marriage, I could now sample the spices of life. Those spices included: dating, drinking, and dancing to the music of the 70′s. The bar room buddies introduced me to drugs. After all, I was not unfamiliar with marijuana. My ex-husband and his relatives encouraged me to try it when we were married. More varied drugs caused a hunger for a spiritual life. My bar room friends encouraged these spiritual cravings by inviting me to a class where I could learn about astrology. This time I bit off more than I could chew. I gorged myself at this spiritual smorgasbord!
I was determined to be a professional astrologer and perhaps make a few extra bucks. Why was I so fascinated with astrology and with divination? When living with Grandma as a child, Grandma would read the tea leaves from my cup. She would pray the rosary and see visions of Mary. She even had a dream about me being molested and it was true! Fortunately, this was a revelation used by the LORD to expose the perpetrator. Yes, the iniquities had truly been passed on.
Numbers 14:18,19 – “The LORD is longsuffering and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.”
A familiar spirit was transferred to me from Grandma and it came in handy at the class.
Finally, February 22, 1979, I received a Certificate of Proficiency from Alpha Logics, the School of Motivational Studies. I had completed the specialized course of Foundations in Astrology, but I had received much more than what I bargained for since starting classes in 1977. The other spicy techniques I learned in my studies added greater flavor to my frog stew. There was never any discussion of the demonic. Rather, we were taught the division of white and black witchcraft, yin (female principle) and yang (male principle), or the occult force of good/evil. Since I grew up in the Catholic Church, and since Grandma dabbled in divination, I had no understanding of the Bible and its warnings about the seriousness of dabbling with the demonic realm.
At Alpha Logics we practiced white witchcraft – to do only good to people, never evil, as we were told. Our LORD does not distinguish between black and white witchcraft. It is all the same to Him. Our spirit guides were the source of our psychic information. Whether we learned about acupressure, acupuncture, past life regressions, psychic healing, reflexology, automatic writing (journaling), palmistry, psychometry, biofeedback, astrology charts, or any other sort of divination, each person=s source was his or her individual spirit guide. The spirit guide I chose was Jesus. After all, He was the God I knew from my religious upbringing. The spirit guide I invoked through breathing exercises (with eyes closed) came to me in vision form. It looked like Jesus; unbeknownst to me, it was only counterfeiting Jesus. Not being born-again, and being involved in the occult, curtailed the real Jesus from delivering me at that time.
Matthew 22:29 – “Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.”
Since God is All-knowing, longsuffering, and merciful, He protected me from deeper and darker occult activity. Praise His Holy Name!
The smorgasbord of sorcery was quite a spread put on by our Director. Our menu included: hypnosis, automatic writing, altered states of consciousness, divination, meditation, astrology, clairvoyance and clairaudience, parapsychology, and for dessert, healing workshops! But this spice of sorcery added to my stew proved detrimental as I began to develop heartburn.
You Are What You Eat
As they say, the proof is in the pudding! This diet was proving very harmful. After a while, I became a natural evangelist for Alpha Logics by sharing the paranormal studies with everyone I came in contact with, family, friends, co-workers and unfortunately, my children. But, the deeper I got in, the more the works of the flesh began to manifest. Soon, I was hearing voices and astral traveling with the aid of an altered state of consciousness. The visions (with eyes open) started and my Director could not give me answers as to what they meant. I could literally see spirit beings in class! I could even feel my co-worker’s physical pains in the same part of my body that he was hurting in. I spent many evenings alone looking for extraterrestrials. Thank God I never saw one, though you might think differently!
This was still not enough to make my life complete. I desired to find a good man and I actually had a vision of a man with dark hair and a mustache. Soon I was on the look out for such a man, for I was tired of the dating game and knew eventually I would need a stable home for my children and a lasting solid relationship with a husband. I had to wait patiently, meanwhile my diet was bitter, spicy, and I might add, very pricey, as the divorce left me financially poor. The child support was minimal and I carried the burden of the house and our bills all upon my shoulders. Something needed to happen! I was dying inside and the frog stew was starting to smell rancid.
Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble
Since I was unable to ascertain that what I really needed in my life was a relationship with God, I grasped for friendship with the world! On my evenings out with friends I would frequent the neighborhood bar. One such evening I met Renée. She was quite provocative to say the least. It turned out that she was the ex-wife of my ex-husband’s cousin. Well, we had a lot to talk about! She indicated she needed a home so I consented for her to move into my apartment with my sons and me.
I had no idea what my children and I were in for. Before long, Renee had become quite an influence for evil as we were in party-mode continually. I was not very world-wise, as one might think. I was shocked when she told me she had been turning tricks. I had no clue what that meant! When I found out, however, I knew that would not be my way to go; I was happy being a secretary and supporting my kids with a decent job at the hospital.
Renee lived in the basement and before long, Buddy, her boyfriend/husband moved in. She claimed they were married not by civil ceremony, but self-ceremony. With him, came drugs galore and the friends to go with it.
I was sinking in the miry clay and oblivious to the repercussions. The stew was boiling and I was not caring for the pot, as it was starting to spill over.
My Just Desserts
One fine day, the prince in shining armor arrived! My co-worker, Marcel, told me about his Air Force friend, Mike, who had finished his tour in Nam. He said he was coming to town to visit him. As he related to me what kind of individual he was, my interest was piqued. He had a college education. He was very smart according to my co-worker. I thought, “Now this is the kind of man I’d like to meet. So the next step was to get his astrology sign. I asked Marcel, “What is his birth date? I want to draw up a chart and find out about him. Marcel promptly gave me a date and I went to work.
The day came when Mike arrived to visit Marcel at work. I was at my desk working when the announcement came that Mike was upstairs looking for Marcel at his station. Hmm, I thought, It’s time to go on break! Almost immediately after Marcel left to go upstairs, I followed.
When I went through the stairwell doors and turned the corner, I exclaimed, Hi Marcel! as though he hadn’t seen me in a while. Marcel turned around and so did his friend, Mike. Mike looked at me from top to bottom and bottom to top. My prince had arrived. He had a head of dark bushy hair and a mustache. Some say he looked like a Cuban gunrunner, others, Charlie Manson. All I know is when we went to the coffee shop on break, it was love at first bite! But to my chagrin, I discovered that the birth date Marcel gave me for Mike was wrong and that would make my chart totally bogus.
Our relationship got serious rather quickly. After my first kiss from the prince, this frog began to change. One thing that really settled the matter for me was the way Mike took to my twin boys. He fell in love with them! That was it for me. I had promised my sons that I would only marry someone who would love them as much as he loved me. I kept my promise. So, Mike got a job at the hospital in security working nights and moved into the apartment with the boys, Buddy, Renee and me.
With his keen perception of danger from his experience in Nam, he quickly sized up the living arrangements and noticed my pot of stew was burning! I was so busy embellishing my dessert, I had totally forgotten about the stew and the smoke with its stench was starting to rise.
Mike, with his concern for our welfare, had a talk with Buddy and Renee and politely asked them to leave so as not to put the boys and myself in jeopardy. So, they left and moved across the street with another drug buddy. It was but days after they left that the cops busted them in the house across the street and Mike saw the whole thing go down from our apartment parking lot. Saved by the LORD who sent my prince in shining armor to the rescue!
Enters Manna from Heaven!
We decided to move away from that area and out of the apartments to a better place for the kids. A duplex in the town I had come from was available and conveniently located next to an elementary school for the boys. They could walk there. Mike would send them off in the morning and he would be awake by the time they got home in the afternoon. Though we still smoked pot, hard drugs were never part of our lives. We were responsible adults taking care of the children, paying the bills, and I was really happy for the first time in a long time.
However, my psychic hairdresser told me she had a dream that I was reading a bible. Well now, I just knew that was a sign since I was still dabbling in parapsychology. So, you guessed it, I went out and bought a 1611 Authorized King James bible at J C Penney’s. Since I was so curious about things that my Catholic Grandma told me as a child about the end of the world as she put it, I decided to look for that in the bible. My interest at Alpha Logics drew me to the prophetic-type authors/books such as Jean Huston, David Spangler, Ruth Montgomery, and Edgar Cayce. Grandma had told me that the world was going to end in the year 2000 and indicated that she got the information from the scriptures. I hungered and thirsted to know the future, so in my quest for this knowledge, I began to search the scriptures.
My spirit guide named Jesus, who I thought was the Jesus of the bible, was very upset about this thirst for knowledge and decided to get my attention. One night as I was reading the bible, trying to decipher the book of Revelation, looking for the end of the world, I started to get a pressure in my chest. The pain increased and became more uncomfortable. Soon, I began to panic. I called for Mike, as he was downstairs, and he came to my side. When I told him what was going on, he said we were going to the hospital and I should get out of bed and come downstairs. Though I was paralyzed with fear because I thought I was dying, I obeyed my Viet Nam medic and descended the stairs and into the car and off we went to the ER– only to hear that I had indigestion and their shot of Maalox cured all.
Today, I understand what really happened to me in hindsight. The demons were putting pressure on me to keep me from the scriptures, to keep me from learning the truth and coming to the knowledge of my sin and my need for the Savior, Jesus Christ! I tasted of the Bread of Life and I liked it! I wanted more! But my body was filled with demonic garbage and I needed to detoxify!
John 6:35 - “And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”
Taste and See
It had been a couple of years since my divorce, and as Mike and I drew closer and closer, one day he proposed. He declared that he wanted to get married, but not in my home state of Connecticut. If we moved away and began a new life, he’d take me as his wife. I whole-heartedly agreed. But where would we move?
The answer came one evening in the library as I was looking for an astrology book title in the index. I heard in my head, more of a strong thought form, Arizona. Well, I ignored it and continued my search when it came to me again Arizona. I immediately stopped searching for the astrology book and started looking for info on Arizona. Upon arriving home that evening, I shared with Mike that I knew where we were moving to. When I told him it was Arizona, he seemed to be in agreement.
We began the process to move and it would take at least three months to prepare. Mike loved the challenge and we were on our way to making a new life for ourselves and leaving behind acquaintances and cleaning house. Little did I know I’d be cleaning my spiritual house too.
Ps 34:8 – “O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”
Mike came home from work one cold April morning, 1979, two months before our move. I kissed him and the kids good-bye, and in our changing of the guards ceremony, I got into the car he just got out of and prepared to go to the hospital. Our car was in the hospital parking lot for sixteen hours a day, as we only had one car. Perhaps I’d hear the wonderful weather report about Phoenix this April morning, since I’d been tuning in and hearing of the 85 degree winter weather there. This particular morning I caught the news.
The reporter stated that a man had been apprehended on charges of murder and theft due to a Brinks robbery. He with accomplices had shot the Brinks driver and stolen the goods. The hair stood on the back of my neck, and at that very moment I knew in my heart the man was none other than Buddy. I was in shock! The confirmation came shortly thereafter and we were sad, yet relieved that we had moved away from the apartments and out of the relationships with Buddy and Renee. Renee had turned states evidence and was freed from the whole scenario since she hadn’t participated in the fatal robbery. Buddy went to jail and Renee met a new boyfriend.
Behold All Things Become New
We resigned our positions at the hospital in June 1979, said our goodbyes to co-workers, to family, my former husband and in-laws and set out for Arizona or bust! We left in the wee hours of the morning while it was yet dark. It reminds me of the morning when Jesus left the tomb while it was yet dark.
There was still some darkness in our lives, but we were on our way into the Light and were totally unaware of what was coming next! To Phoenix we traversed. No jobs, no relatives, no friends. By faith, I left Connecticut permanently for the first time in my life. Our furniture was going via North American Van Lines. My 1973 black Monte Carlo carried my nine-year-old boys in the back seat, our kitchen table in the trunk, $300 in a sock, a knife for protection, and two people in love. We journeyed 2600 miles away to start a new life together, and little did we know, with the LORD!
New Stew Begins to Brew!
We arrived in Phoenix the third week in June. It was VERY hot compared to where I came from, but it was a dry heat as they say. I really liked it. I was about 90 lbs in size and could handle this heat. We had already secured a townhouse while in Connecticut, so we had a place to go to. Then we had to hunt for jobs. Mike got a job with a company in shipping and receiving while I applied for secretarial positions and waited patiently for the Van lines to arrive with the furniture.
We met our neighbors and made new friends. The boys liked having a swimming pool handy and enjoyed being little boys in a new adventure! My hope was to have the house put together before getting a job. The furniture didn’t arrive, however, until the day before I started my new job with a prominent builder in Phoenix. We were now well nigh into July when something happened one day that would change my life forever.
I was alone in the living room watching a local TV broadcast called Trinity Broadcasting Network aka TBN. I heard the gospel for the first time. I was convicted of my sins. I dropped to my knees and asked the LORD Jesus to forgive me and cleanse me and be my LORD and Savior. I cannot even tell you what day or time it was. I know it changed my life forever. I was never the same after that. Things started happening that took others and myself by surprise.
No longer did I have a thirst for alcohol, a desire for drugs, a mouth for cussing, and a desire to be an astrologer! My eyes had been opened to the evils of what I had been experiencing and living. My Alpha Logics teachings and all the monies invested in the parapsychology had been consumed by the new birth. Instead I developed an insatiable appetite for the Word of God. I was so hungry that I couldn’t stop eating the new spiritual food put before me. I was so grateful for what Jesus did for me, having come out of New Age and white witchcraft, that my new understanding of God’s view of the occult, gave me a healthy fear of the LORD God.
What’s more, it was free for the taking; no monies involved here.
Rev 3:18-19 “I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”
This certainly changed my religious background. Though I had left my Church at age 16, I was relieved. No more confessions at the church, no more indulgences to pay, no more vain repetition of prayer, no more praying to Mary and the saints, or believing in the power of the saints! I didn’t have to work my way to heaven. I was a free woman, a daughter of the KING, a child of God. I entered into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ! What a relief! The days got brighter and brighter – the darkness, dimmer and dimmer. No longer was I the frog in the pot with the worldly stew! I became a new creation and embellished my new diet, feasting on the Word of God; taking Him at His Word; growing in grace and knowledge of the LORD Jesus Christ!
Yet, the enemy of my soul showed his gnashing teeth on more than one occasion, as he always seems compelled to get even when we willingly leave his camp; but always able to rise above, as the scripture tells us:
1 John 4:4 “Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.”
